That Time I Visited Marilyn Monroe and This Other Guy…

“A visit to Pierce Brothers Westwood Village Memorial Park & Mortuary in Los Angles, California” had been on my “Bucket List” since I was like 13 yrs. old. I guess at thirteen it was probably more of a “Things To Do When I Grow Up List” but you get the idea. And also… when I was 13 we didn’t have the internet, which made me pretty clueless by today’s standards, meaning that I knew nothing of Pierce Brothers. What it really said was: “Visit Marilyn Monroe’s Grave”. I was pretty obsessed with her and the posters on my bedroom walls proved it.

Fast forward thirty-some-odd years; I find myself living in LA for a few months. One Sunday morning (Sunday mornings in even the most touristy of cemeteries tend to be less crowded) I set out for Pierce Brothers and, as I’d hoped, that lead to my thirty minutes with Marilyn… and this other dead guy, but I’ll get to him in a minute.

I had waited for this moment for what felt like my entire life, so I expected some emotion but I guess I wasn’t really prepared. I have absolutely no shame about the tears that were shed cause… Marilyn. Monroe. I composed myself and sat down… in complete silence, totally alone which would have felt perfectly normal had it been anyone but, oh… let’s say, Marilyn Monroe. I was actually nervous… basically “star struck”. Just me and Marilyn… and we talked. Well, I did… I haven’t completely gone around the bend. Then I noticed something that felt profound, at least to me. When I sat down there was a shadow that had just reached the left edge of her name on her name plate so that the sun shone on the whole thing. As I sat there, I could actually see the shadow move as the sun moved across the sky. I sat in silence and watched that shadow slip slowly across her name… it slipped into darkness until all that was left shining was a perfect rose. I can think of no better metaphor for Marilyn’s life. To have captured that moment, that experience and turned it into a memory is priceless.

A few weeks later I learned that I’d broken a cardinal rule in LA… don’t pay attention to any one thing too long cause you’ll miss something else and probably will regret it, as I do. Case in point: When I was out at Marilyn Monroe’s grave site I failed to noticed who was buried around her cause, again… Marilyn. Monroe. And that’s actually two rules I broke because when visiting one particular grave you should always pay attention to the “neighbors”… never know who you’ll find. So, I failed to notice Richard Poncher. And who would cause… who the hell is Richard Poncher, right? Well, legend has it…

When Marilyn and Joe DiMaggio were divorcing in 1954, Richard bought the crypt directly above what would become Marilyn’s final resting place and also the one to the left. On his deathbed, Richard told his wife Elise (according to her) “If I croak, if you don’t put me upside down over Marilyn, I’ll haunt you the rest of my life.” You read that correctly… he wanted to be buried face down above Marilyn Monroe. So, after the funeral but before the interment, Elsie gave instructions to the funeral director who, indeed, opened Richard’s casket and flipped him over before sliding the casket into the wall and sealing the vault. That’s how he became known as “the man with the eternal smile” and rested in peace for the next 23 years.

That’s when Elsie got greedy and attempted to auction Richard’s crypt off on eBay in 2009 with the excuse of making room for her children. She actually intended to use the money to pay off the mortgage on her Beverly Hills home. Her plan was to move Richard one spot to the left which, at that point, was the other empty crypt Richard had purchased above the empty space to the left of Marylin. Empty crypt next to Marilyn Monroe?! That seems like prime real estate, right? It is and will become the resting place for another American icon. Hugh Hefner bought that spot decades ago! So that would’ve meant that unless they flipped Richard over when they moved him, he would spend eternity face down over Hugh Hefner. I’m pretty sure that’s when Richard said “Oh, he’ll no!” from beyond the grave. The winning bid was $4.6M (making it the most expensive piece of property in the world) but the final purchase fell through as did the eleven other following bids. Richard is still exactly where he intended to be… no doubt, still smiling.

As for Elsie Poncher, questions abound. There are records from the state of Nevada that indicate Elsie and Richard had divorced in 1982 before his death. If so, did Elsie even own the crypt she was trying to sell? And another twist… In October of 2016 a name plate for Elsie showed up on the crypt next to Richard’s right above Hugh Hefner’s eventual crypt. There are no dates indicating her birth or death. The brass plate reads: “A Life Well Lived – Elizabeth “Elsie” Poncher – You Always had a Joke to Tell and Never Took A Bad Picture”. This isn’t all that odd. However, what is extremely odd is that there is no obituary for Elsie, nothing in the news, nothing on the internet about her passing. She caused quite a stir in the news when she tried to sell Richard’s crypt yet she makes no news in death? That seems unlikely. So, is Elsie still living and simply trying to put a stop to the publicity she created with her nefarious scheme to disturb Richard’s final resting place? And if she is still living, is Richard haunting her for different reasons?